Fallen Leaves

Since MBK said there hasn't been many paintings posted as of late, I decided to post one.
While in Savannah, I took some photos of scattered leaves while I was watching the birds pick away at them.
I'm not sure if I'm done with it, still working out this whole oil painting thing.

Know Your Harbingers of Impending Doom: Boobies

Boobies.

Not the sea bird primarily found near warm waters - the fatty deposits that grace the chests of mature human females. Jugs. Melons. And while it's hard to imagine anything bad coming from something so good, there's an unfortunate horror movie phenomenon, Titsonics, that turns boobies into bouncy death traps.

In the Terrorverse, young women's breasts emit a high frequency sound (measured in mammahertz) that only horror movie villains can hear. The sound attracts them - not because they want a peek, but because they know that naked breasts indicate the presence of at least one highly distracted or highly vulnerable victim. The bigger the boobies, the louder the noise. And when those boobies are squeezed (say, by the fumbling hands of a young male), they get louder still.

Therefore, the only safe boobies are untouched, well covered boobies. and well covered means buried beneath enough clothing to muffle their sound (i.e., no tank tops). In fact, the ideal outfit for a young woman would be a parka over a ski jacket, over two sweatshirts, over two bras - with the nipples duct taped for good measure. But take heart, ladies. The moment you hit 23 your Titsonic profile becomes drastically lower. And once you have a kid, it disappears forever.

That covers it (haha) for Boobies. Tune in next week for: Know your Impending Harbingers of Doom: Visable Breath.

Who ARE you People?

so I'm wondering to what extent does your work reflect your generation, its values, its struggles, its perceptions? Tough question, because for some of you there may not yet be enough work that you had the freedom to direct yet, but even school projects are opportunities for your values to be expressed.

In other words, how and why is your work of today, how was work differently fuelled in the 80's or the 50's or the 1850's. Who ARE you people?

Maine Prep 101: Know Your Harbingers of Impending Doom

Hi everyone, Caleb here!

In prep for our journey to Maine, I thought I'd offer you a few more doses of survival training via the How To Survive a Horror Movie book. Today's lesson is all about light.

In the Terrorverse (where Maine happens to exist....), light is usually your friend. It cuts through the menacing night, chases away shadows where creatures lurk and blinds night-vision equipped serial killers. But there are times when light is the last thing you want to see. Especially when it's coming from somewhere (or something) it shouldn't.

ANYTHING THAT ISN'T A BULB OR FLAME: There are some things - wood, metal, briefcases, stone - that aren't supposed to give off light. If they do, don't stare in slack-jawed fascination. Run.

KEYHOLES:If there's a powerful beam of light shooting through a keyhole, you can bet there's something very, very nasty on the other side of the door.

EYES: Light only radiates from the pupils of evil creatures, and it usually signals an imminent attack.

MOUTHS: If light is pouring from your mouth, you're about to be torn to shreds from the inside out and transported to another dimension - probably a bad one.

NOWHERE: The worst place light can come from is nowhere. Only the most powerful creatures are capable of self-illumination - namely demons and false gods. For dramatic effect, they'll backlight themselves to constantly appear in silhouette.

Well, that does it on light. Tune in next week for our next chapter of Know Your Harbingers of Impending Doom: Boobies.